You're So Strong - by Leslie Harter-Berg (Paperback)

About the Book

You're So Strong examines the beautiful, hilarious mess of life after loss, the superpower of embracing the awful with the amazing, and one ordinary widow/single mom's discovery that being strong looks less like conquering the stages of grief and more like coming to the end of yourself to find that God is right there, grieving alongside you.

Book Synopsis

"You're doing so well," they tell you. "You're so strong."

Meanwhile, you're standing in the middle of your living room, staring at a mountain of grown-man Legos, wondering if it's disrespectful to donate them or insane to keep them.

You're on hold with AT&T for the third time this week, trying to explain to a stranger that the account holder doesn't need unlimited data anymore because he's dead. You are holding it together on the outside, but on the inside, you are navigating a map that no one gave you, for a terrain you never wanted to visit.

Leslie Harter-Berg knows too well the absurdity of the "admin of death"--the paperwork, the passwords, the phone calls that punctuate the grief. She knows what it's like to have a life that was "pretty darn good" implode into a reality of solo parenting and widowhood at the age of thirty. She knows exactly what it feels like to have to do school drop-off when simply getting out of bed seems insurmountable.

In this relatable, poignant, and funny memoir-meets-grief-guide, Leslie shares her many attempts at conquering the stages of grief and her ultimate acceptance that no one is actually grading her in Coping 101. In this deeply honest account of life after loss, Leslie learns the hard way that surviving is often more profound and beautiful than thriving.

If you're exhausted by the well-meaning but empty promises that this is a "blessing in disguise," that "now you have a guardian angel" or "everything happens for a reason," come sit next to Leslie as she discovers that there's not a magic prayer for moving on, and that it's time to lay down the mantle of "doing grief right."

Review Quotes

As a fellow widow, I came to this book expecting sorrow, but what I found was something far richer: a story woven with beauty, honesty, heartbreak, and unexpected humor. It captures the ache of absence and the miracle of memory with words that feel tender and true. I laughed out loud at passages I didn't expect to. I cried quietly when the truth hit too close. And through it all, I felt less alone. This is not just a memoir--it's a companion for anyone who's ever lost someone they loved and then wondered how to keep living. A breathtaking, soul-deep reminder that even in the shadow of grief, light and laughter still find a way in.--Kayla Stoecklein, author, Rebuilding Beautiful

Honest. Funny. Helpful. Heartbreaking. Hopeful. These were the words that came to me while I read, and couldn't stop reading, You're So Strong. Leslie's words remind me to be a friend who looks closer and to find God in the less sacred spaces. They also remind me that embracing the good doesn't have to mean burying the bad and, most of all, that God holds all of us in the waiting. This book spoke to my soul. I'll be recommending it to everyone I know.--Greta Eskridge, podcast host; author

It is no small feat to author a page-turner that manages lighthearted laughs and weighty vulnerability in the same book, often even the same page. Someone might call that biting off more than you can chew, but the further you go into these pages the more you'll realize that's how Leslie Harter-Berg rolls. And she pulls it off flawlessly. This book is almost impossible to put down. It made me laugh out loud and shed tears of resonant grief and, ultimately, tears of equally resonant joy. Leslie shares her story in a way that invites you to find your own--a way that invites brutal honesty without demanding answers, but without letting go of hope either. It is an honor as her pastor to have watched Leslie's unfolding story, and this book is a costly, precious gift welcoming readers to do the same.--Tyler Staton, author, The Familiar Stranger; Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools; and Searching for Enough

Leslie writes with unflinching vulnerability and sharp wit, offering a story that is both heartbreaking and profoundly beautiful. Widow or not, you'll find this is a book that will stay with you.--Emily Cave, author, For Colb: The Vow Beyond "'Til Death Do Us Part"

Leslie Harter-Berg deftly leads us through hard truths--the good that comes later never redeems the wound of loss. And yet she shows with fierce honesty how grief, when carried, can turn into a strange kind of strength: one that remakes a life without erasing its scars. A must-read for anyone walking through the grief of losing a loved one.--Scott Erickson, author, Honest Advent and In the Low

Leslie's memoir is a profound and unputdownable window into the crushing reality of young widowhood and solo parenting. With raw, heart-wrenching honesty, grief-earned wisdom, and unexpected humor, she offers a powerful invitation for anyone navigating loss to embrace self-compassion.--Jana DeCristofaro, podcast host, Grief Out Loud

Leslie's story is raw, honest, and filled with the kind of hope that can only come from Jesus. You're So Strong will remind you that even in life's deepest valleys, God's grace sustains us, laughter still finds us, and love never lets go. This book is a gift to anyone walking through grief or standing beside someone who is.--Chad Veach, lead pastor, Zoe Church