Seeing Joy - by Alexandra Grabbe (Hardcover)

Book Synopsis

Beatrice, one of America's first career women, is still feisty at ninety-six. She lives with her daughter Alexandra, who has moved to Cape Cod to care for Bea while running a bed-and-breakfast out of their beloved old house. Like so many adult children caring for elderly parents, Alexandra must balance her new job as caregiver with her role as daughter-and it isn't easy. Bea is demanding and very verbal. Her mind is like a fireworks display on a drizzly Fourth of July-some shots fizzle out, but there are still bits of brilliance. After a knee ailment confines Bea to bed, it becomes clear her life will soon end. Convinced nothing comes next, Bea declares she doesn't want to die. When deceased friends and family start "visiting" Bea's bedroom, Alexandra wonders if her mom is hallucinating. Or could these visits have deeper meaning? Bea entertains her "guests" by hosting tea parties and reliving treasured memories. She reveals an unexpected kind of joy to Alexandra-a joy that brings peace and chases away the fear of death as they experience their final days together.

Review Quotes

"Caring for a dying parent is one of life's hardest challenges, but it can also be one of its most meaningful experiences. In Seeing Joy, Grabbe captures both the frustrations and the profound moments of magic that caregiving brings: the sleepless nights, the mundane meals, the unexpected joys and small triumphs. Through her vivid prose, we become one with the rhythms, regrets, and delights of Grabbe's mother, Bea. This moving memoir reminds us that while we cannot keep our parents forever, we can witness and honor their final journey and help them ultimately let go of their exuberant, complicated, and fascinating lives."-Marjan Kamali, author of The Lion Women of Tehran

"Alexandra Grabbe's frank, sometimes rageful, and ultimately tender retelling of caring for her dying yet feisty and brilliant mother at home is fueled by accelerating moments of love and grace. Along the way, Grabbe shares her ninety-six-year-old mother's visions of spirits, which spark questions about an afterlife. Seeing Joy is an invaluable read for anyone drawn to the sacred role of tending to a dying loved one." -Jessica Brilliant Keener, author of Evening Begins the Day

"The courage and clarity in Seeing Joy by Alexandra Grabbe stunned me in its fearless rendering of a daughter caring for her mother in her final months. An exploration of the past melding into the present, Grabbe offers not only the difficulties but also the surprising blessedness and humor that surround them in their ultimate year together. There is courageous honesty on every page."-Randy Susan Meyers, author of The Many Mothers of Ivy Puddingstone

"A brilliant and deeply compelling memoir that explores both the inner and outer spaces of a daughter's troubled relationship with her mother-shaped by dementia, memory, and a life lived between the worldly and the otherworldly." -Barbara Chase-Riboud, author of I Always Knew: A Memoir and Sally Hemings

"Alexandra Grabbe's mother is dying, and for months they journey together through memory and between worlds. Dead loved ones visit often, old grievances lose power, and fear evaporates in a transformation from elder to ancestor, from daughter to descendent. May we all discover so much about love and life in its ending." -Barbara Coombs Lee, President Emerita of Compassion & Choices and author of Finish Strong, Putting your Priorities First at Life's End