Both Sides of Then - by Jennifer Griffith (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

"Both Sides of Then, is a masterclass in storytelling. Jennifer delivers a stunning meditation on love, loss, and the quiet courage it takes to begin again. A deeply human story-- that lingers long after the final page."

--Laura Munson, #1 New York Times bestselling author of This Is Not The Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness

A gripping, deeply relatable coming-of-age book about family secrets, resilience, and the life-changing power of acceptance.

Jennifer is thirteen and living a quiet teenage existence when her parents reveal their innermost secrets; her mother has found the child she relinquished as a baby, and her father no longer wants to be part of the family.

Once she becomes a mother, she realizes her childhood could greatly influence the mother she would be to her son. As she unravels the hidden past that defined her mother's life, Jennifer begins to see the ways silence, survival, and unresolved grief echo across generations. The discovery forces her to confront her own patterns: the tendency to disappear, the ache of abandonment, the longing to be seen.

What begins as a reckoning becomes an unexpected path toward acceptance--of herself, of the parents who raised her, and of the truth they spent years trying to outrun. Until, on his deathbed, her father revealed the missing piece to her childhood.

Both Sides of Then is a story of resilience: falling apart, piecing yourself back together, and realizing the person you're becoming is allowed to be different from where you began. It's about family dynamics that complicate everything, the secrets that keep us small, and the forgiveness that sets us free.

If you've ever carried shame, longed for healing you weren't sure you deserved, or hoped your broken story could still turn toward love--this book will walk you there.

Review Quotes

"A candid intergenerational story of survival, motherhood, and the fragile ties that bind families together. This book will provide a sense of validation to those who carry their own generational traumas, and powerful revelations for those who do not."--Kirkus Reviews

"Griffith gives voice to the resilience of women, appraising their historical and contemporary struggles for basic rights, including autonomy over their own bodies and the freedom to choose their lives outside of motherhood and marriage. Her writing is eye-opening, thoughtful, and rooted in love."--Publishers Weekly

"Both Sides of Then reminded me how the people who lift us up early in life stay woven into who we become. Jennifer's writing is so open and genuine that it drew me in right away. It felt like being trusted with her story in a very real, relatable way. It made me pause and think about my own path. This is a story with heart and courage, and one you'll want to share."--Mari Holden, Olympic medalist and World Champion in cycling

"Both Sides of Then hit me deeply and personally. It was captivating to time-travel through Jennifer's mother's eyes... but what moved me most was the raw unpacking of generational trauma. I cried multiple times and I thought about it when I wasn't reading - the sign of a truly remarkable book."--Gesche Haas, Founder and CEO of Dreamers & Doers, an award-winning community and PR Hype Machine(TM)

"The narrative unfolds and investigates multiple themes foundational to the women they have become: the generational trauma of family secrets unspoken and unaddressed, social expectations and judgment about mothers and motherhood and the dynamics of shame, abandonment, mother-child love and pathways to healing."--Lou Fancher, The East Bay Times

"With remarkable emotional insight and lyrical grace, Jennifer delivers a stunning meditation on heartbreak...and the quiet courage it takes to begin again. She writes with the wisdom of someone who understands that healing is rarely linear, but always possible."--Laura Munson, New York Times bestselling author and founder of the acclaimed Haven Writing Retreats

"In Both Sides of Then, Jennifer Griffith expertly weaves her story of a troubled childhood with her mother's experience growing up an orphan. We come to understand two fundamental truths: we inherit much more than we realize and the only narrative more elemental than our own is our mother's. This compelling memoir expertly explores family history, abandonment, resilience, and ultimately, an imperfect but honest kind of love."--Shanti Brien, author of Almost Innocent

"It is a great act of love when a daughter works hard to fully understand her mother's life. In Both Sides of Then, Jennifer Griffith does exactly that. This memoir chronicles a daughter making sense of her own experience by unraveling the mystery of her mother's life. I wept, I laughed, and I wanted to call my mom after I finished this beautiful book." --Julie Barton, New York Times bestselling author of Dog Medicine

"Jennifer Griffith's steely, calm voice is a marvel of compassion as she boldly inhabits her mother's pain in order to understand her own. Both Sides of Then is a mesmerizing journey through empathy to forgiveness, written with clear-eyed bravery and love."--Rachel Howard, author of The Lost Night and The Risk of Us

About the Author

Jennifer Griffith is the author of Both Sides of Then and the creator and host of the About Your Mother podcast, where she uncovers the profound, complex, and often untold stories that shape motherhood, identity, and family. A sought-after speaker, Jennifer talks from a place of truth-seeking and vulnerability, offering insight into what it takes to be empowered by your story.