Adult Children of High-Conflict Parents - by Tracy S Hutchinson (Paperback)

About the Book

High-conflict parents are beyond toxic--they're often emotionally abusive, self-righteous, vindictive, and even vengeful. They tend to thrive on creating family drama, and often cause lasting relational trauma for their children. This powerful, evidence-based guide offers practical skills to help adult children of high-conflict parents identify, cope with, and heal from these dysfunctional family dynamics.

Book Synopsis

Heal the invisible wounds of growing up with a high-conflict or emotionally abusive parent with this powerful, evidence-based guide.

Did you grow up in an emotionally invalidating environment? Were your parents verbally abusive toward you--or each other? Were they self-righteous, or even vengeful? Did they thrive on creating family drama, dysfunction, and conflict? Did you often feel bullied by them? If so, you probably had high-conflict parents, and you may have developed chronic relational trauma--enduring harm caused by one or more parents--as an adult. So, how can you heal the invisible wounds of your childhood, and build the life and relationships you deserve?

Adult Children of High-Conflict Parents offers practical skills to help you identify, cope with, and heal from dysfunctional family dynamics. Using a blend of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), internal family systems therapy (IFS), EMDR, and mindfulness, the integrative approach in this guide will help you break unhealthy relationship patterns, set boundaries with others, cultivate self-compassion and self-awareness, and thrive as an adult. You'll also find tools to help you manage intense emotions of your own, understand where these emotions come from, and finally break the cycle of trauma and emotional abuse.

The long-term emotional, psychological, and physical effects of relational trauma can be devastating--leading to low self-esteem, low self-worth, anxiety, guilt, excessive anger, and even physical health issues and substance abuse problems. But there are ways you can begin to heal. With this compassionate guide, you can move past the pain of growing up with high-conflict parents, and start moving toward a life of vitality, meaning, and happiness.

Review Quotes

"Adult Children of High-Conflict Parents is an invaluable resource for anyone seeking to understand their past and move forward from relational trauma! Tracy S. Hutchinson has created a compassionate and relatable guide that captures the complexity of high-conflict family dynamics and provides practical tools for healing, setting boundaries, and processing difficult emotions. This book will help adult children feel supported and empowered to change their lives."
--Sharon Martin, LCSW, psychotherapist, and author of Cutting Ties with Your Parents and The Better Boundaries Workbook

--Sharon Martin, LCSW

"As a therapist who works with survivors of traumatic and abusive families, as well as a survivor myself, I am excited to see Tracy S. Hutchinson's book enter the healing community. Those of us who lived with high-conflict parents often feel so isolated and misunderstood, but this book provides space and support for this unique area of trauma. Healing from dysfunctional and abusive behaviors we were exposed to can feel scary without the right support. This book is so needed!"
--Kaytlyn Gillis, LCSW, psychotherapist; and author of four books, including Healing from Parental Abandonment and Neglect and Breaking the Cycle

--Kaytlyn Gillis, LCSW

"For anyone carrying the weight of a difficult, painful childhood, this book is a lifeline. Tracy S. Hutchinson offers not only a compassionate understanding of those lingering feelings of confusion, anger, and hurt, but also a clear, empowering path forward. With a thorough explanation of high-conflict parents, practical exercises, and transformative guidance, this book goes beyond healing--it's a road map to growth and self-actualization."
--Monica Leppma, PhD, LMHC, faculty and clinical supervisor at City University of Seattle

--Monica Leppma, PhD, LMHC

"Have you struggled with guilt, shame, and unhealthy relationships since childhood? Tracy S. Hutchinson's crucial book helps you gain insight into the subtle yet damaging signs of being raised by a high-conflict parent. The elaboration of 'rupture and repair' is excellent, and as a psychotherapist with decades of experience, I am using it to help my clients heal from such childhood emotional traumas. This should be required reading for all psychotherapists."
--Tamara J. Green, LCSW, love and relationship expert

--Tamara J. Green, LCSW

"If you've felt the heartbreak of being stuck in a painful relationship with a parent and wondered how to begin healing, this book is essential. Drawing on years of experience counseling adults through complex family dynamics, Tracy S. Hutchinson compassionately guides you through the confusion, grief, and longing that so many carry. Her insights and exercises light a path toward emotional clarity and the freedom to heal on your own terms."
--Amber Pope, PhD, LPC, LMHC, assistant professor of counselor education; and relationship, marriage, and family counseling area lead at William and Mary School of Education

--Amber Pope, PhD, LPC, LMHC

"In this timely, interactive book, Tracy S. Hutchinson uses her extensive clinical experience to gently guide readers in examining relational trauma caused by high-conflict parents. Adult survivors will feel seen and understood as they reflect on the past and learn strategies to increase awareness, find hope, and experience healing. This must-read book is a balm for the soul and a road map for a new path with yourself and those you love."
--Jennifer Foster, PhD, associate professor of counselor education at Western Michigan University, and licensed professional counselor

--Jennifer Foster, PhD

"Tracy S. Hutchinson accurately captures the emotional complexity of experience of those who have grown up with a high-conflict parent. She pinpoints how feeling disloyal impacts a person's ability to speak up about what has happened to them in a way that gives the reader a visceral sense of release. There is nothing more powerful than having someone see and understand the inner world you've kept hidden for so long."
--Lauren Dennelly, PhD, LCSW, clinician, and author of the forthcoming Why You Never Got to Be a Kid

--Lauren Dennelly, PhD, LCSW

"Tracy S. Hutchinson has written the go-to guide for individuals with high-conflict parents. Readers can see themselves in her comforting words and insights, exploring what it feels like to have high-conflict parents, how it affects their mental health, and what they can do to heal. Filled with practical exercises and journaling prompts, this book is a powerful tool for processing and navigating high-conflict relationships."
--Betsy Holmberg, PhD, author of Unkind Mind

--Betsy Holmberg, PhD

"Tracy S. Hutchinson offers a long-awaited book for those who suffer from conflicting relationships with their parents and family. Her jargon-free language with clear examples and assertive counseling will certainly make this book for both clients and practitioners a landmark in the counseling literature. This is an absolute must-read for therapists, patients, and anyone affected by family relational trauma."
--Luis Gomez, PhD, practitioner-scholar and consultant based in Washington, DC; with international experience in training counselors, therapists, and people with disabilities

--Luis Gomez, PhD

"Tracy S. Hutchinson's groundbreaking book illuminates an often-unrecognized area of pain and trauma: living with a high-conflict parent. She helps readers find a healthy way of dealing with an unhealthy relationship. Using exercises and client stories, she gives sage advice on self-care based on clinical experience. Her approach relies on proven techniques from narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) while offering a spiritual solution aimed at fostering post-traumatic growth."
--Mark E. Young, PhD, professor emeritus of counselor education at University of Central Florida (UCF); cofounder of the UCF Marriage and Family Research Center; and author of five books, including the award-winning Learning the Art of Helping, Counseling Today, and Counseling and Therapy for Couples

--Mark E. Young, PhD

About the Author

Tracy S. Hutchinson, PhD, is an academic, psychotherapist, and clinical supervisor with decades of experience teaching and helping people understand and heal from the unseen emotional dynamics rooted in their relationships. She has taught at the master's and doctoral level as an assistant professor and faculty at several universities, and has published in many academic journals and textbooks. Hutchinson has presented both nationally and internationally in the field of mental health counseling and psychology, and currently teaches at the College of William & Mary in the graduate clinical mental health counseling program. She is also a psychotherapist in private practice, and specializes in narcissistic abuse and recovery in families, relationships, and adult children of high-conflict parents.

Hutchinson has been featured in various national news outlets and publications such as CNBC, ABC, CBS, the Associated Press, and national and international magazines such as Vogue, SELF, and "Ask America's Experts" in Women's World magazine. Her popular columns in Psychology Today, "The Pulse of Mental Health" and "Silencing Your Inner Bully," are widely read with millions of views.