The Myth of Good Christian Parenting - by Marissa Franks Burt & Kelsey Kramer McGinnis (Paperback)
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4.6 out of 5 stars with 81 ratings
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5.0 out of 5 stars with 11 reviews
100% would recommend
11 recommendations
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
24 October, 2025
Everyone needs this book
This book was wonderfully done. I was blessed by it on so many levels and I am so thankful for Marissa and Kelsey's boldness to tackle this subject. If you were raised under Christian Parenting books or were raising kids with Christian Parenting books I highly encourage you to read this book. May you experience healing and be challenged to wrestle with your views. Pastors and Counselors need to pick this book up too. Odds are high your flock or your clients were hurt by these teachings even if that wasn't the goal of the teachers. This book is massively helpful in presenting these teachings and putting a name to them and an origin. I appreciate so much the tenderness in how they handle these topics, knowing the hurt many are reliving while reading this, and the grace in which they address both the adult children, the parents who believed the myths, and even so grace within their dealings of the Authors who perpetuated these Myths. This quote from the book says a lot - "We are not interested in judging the motivations of parenting experts, if such a thing were even possible, or in villainizing the "tailors." It's tempting to make the pastor-teachers the villains in this story- crooks who set out to swindle everyone or who operated with malice but that would be an oversimplification. We expect that ministry motivations, lack of self-awareness, legitimate concerns and fears, marketing, greed, and the incapacity to reckon with consequences all play a part. We have attempted to present their teaching in their own words, and we hope that anyone who reads this book will not see their work unfairly represented, even if they find themselves disagreeing with us. Additionally, plenty of people looking for helpful advice found it in Christian parenting resources. To examine these resources critically is not to say there is nothing of merit in them or that all families were only harmed by them." Reading this book it is clear that the goal is to pursue this conversation that should be happening about where we as American Christians were led astray in Parenting or being parented and how we can do better. This isn't a Parenting book. They don't give you a how-to guide. But they present to you the myths that permeated the Christian Parenting topic for the past 50ish years so you can evaluate and forge a better path forward for yourself and for your children. Read this book. It will be worth it.
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
24 October, 2025
A must read!
Marissa and Kelsey did such an amazing job with their research and the writing of this book. I really appreciated the effort they put in to make the history of "Christian Parenting" and the research of the books/theologies/idealogies reviewed clear and concise - without personal opinions about an author's motive or shaming anyone who believed the myths. Their suggestions for moving forward with a Christ-like posture in parenting are put forward with a beautiful humility and their heart for parents and vulnerable children really shines through. The Myth of Good Christian Parenting was such a breath of fresh air and set a level of freedom for parents who are desiring to honor God with their parenting decisions and yet struggle against the narrative of common harmful practices often put forward as "commanded by God". A must read!
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
23 October, 2025
helpful clarity
This book offers clarity on many of the questions I’ve grappled with since becoming a parent within the Christian community, where there is constant pressure to teach and raise children “the right way.” The methods and perspectives commonly promoted in the American evangelical church have often seemed at odds with my understanding of child development and my perception of Jesus’ interactions with children. The authors thoughtfully expose how certain influences within the church have given rise to damaging ideologies and practices—and the painful fallout that follows. They courageously address patterns of control and abuse, inviting the church toward a more compassionate way forward.
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
23 October, 2025
A Necessary resource for those deconstructing from evangelical parenting
For several months I have watched various videos from Marissa and Kelsey, read their posts on social media, listened to their deep dives into influential evangelical parenting books where they dissect the ideas within and expose the mythology behind the claims of self appointed evangelical parenting gurus. When they announced they intended to write a book on the subject of the falsehoods and abuses contained in popular evangelical parenting resources, I could tell they had already done a mountain of research on such issues and I expected it to be a throughly well researched success. I was not wrong. In fact, they exceeded my already high expectations. With a tone of objectivity, they lay bare the various lies and false prosperity gospel promises of “good Christian Parenting” by drawing upon the testimony of childhood victims from Christian families; pulling apart the inconsistencies within the works of James Dobson, Tedd Tripp, Ginger Hubbard, Larry Christenson, Michael Pearl, Doug Wilson, Larry Tomczak, Bill Gothard, and others like Roy Lessin while also pointing out their incongruity with the words of Jesus; informing readers about the history of Religious Right political ideology and why it places such high importance on authoritarian parenting that relies on corporal punishment; and much more. If I were to make comparisons with other exposés of evangelical culture, I would put it right up there with Kristen DuMez’s, “Jesus and John Wayne,” as both lay out a political history of the religious right and theology in church history with Marissa and Kelsey closely focusing on how those impacted evangelical parenting. I was impressed with how they drew upon the expertise of those in the fields of psychology, sociology, child development, religious trauma, and history; experts like Philip Greven, Dr. Stacy Patton, Janet Heimlich, Alice Miller, L.R Knost, William Sears, Elizabeth Gershoff, Ryan Stoller, etc…to draw attention to the ways evangelical parenting has caused religious and even generational trauma and research based suggestions for a healthier way forward. This is a resource for any parent who feels their must be something better than the pain focused authoritarian parenting advocated by evangelical churches, evangelical authors, and influencers. It is also a necessary resource for any adult who is/or has deconstructed the faith of their childhood and wants to understand the impact of evangelical parenting on their trauma and their current faith journey. Marissa and Kelsey are brilliant women with a vast knowledge of history, theology, politics, child development, etc….all of which they drew upon to form this courageous and much needed resource.
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
22 October, 2025
Important read!
I've been waiting for this book. Marissa and Kelsey write as a part of the church, with love for the church, and with compassion for children and parents who have suffered harm as a result of the promises made to them by religious leaders. If you are one of those people who have been harmed, or if you are currently parenting in a Christian context, this book is so worth the read. It gives an educated context for where these harmful parenting ideas came from and explores the fallout with care and grace, while also calling the leaders and writers who profited off of these ideas to account. It also points the way forward to a faith that parents from a place of freedom and Christlikeness, rather than control and fear.
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
22 October, 2025
(no review title)
I have written this review so many times in my head. First, Marissa and Kelsey have done a thorough amount of research. Second and more importantly they tackle this topic with so much love and grace. It is their hope, and mine, that parents can learn where the ideas can lead, how they can hurt, and can work to make amends. This myth, that there is a “right way” to parent is so persuasive and tempting that it is no wonder to me that so many parents followed these teachings. The authors have done a fabulous job of uncovering the issues and end with a hopeful chapter for change. They start with the history of Christian parenting books, continue with a description of the myths and the results, and end with “where do we go from here?” No matter where you are in your parenting journey you will find wisdom and encouragement. This book will make you cry, yell, and hope. Grab a copy and see for yourself.
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
22 October, 2025
(no review title)
This book is such a breath of fresh air for those of us who were taught there was only *1 right way* to parent our children, and only *1 desired outcome* for their growth to adulthood. There is so much pressure, anxiety, criticism, and shame around the way Christian parents interact with their children--it created huge conflicts for me as a young mom when all that "Christian" parenting advice was directly contradictory to what I knew about child development, and also clearly didn't produce the good fruit it promised. Every Christian parent needs to read this book.
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
21 October, 2025
(no review title)
I was raised in a conservative environment, and though I later left a great deal of the beliefs, I never would say my mom's parenting was a source of trauma. However, as I've parented my own child, I've realized there were practices that didn't feel right to me. It's hard to navigate both a love and respect for a parent and the feeling that something was off. This book does a fantastic job showing the heavy yoke that parents have been placed under. This doesn't excuse them for harmful practices, but it shows why people chose shame-based strategies and corporal punishment. The authors cover the history of parenting teaching, along with a deep dive into the instruction given and why it is problematic. It gave me empathy for parents while showing me my gut is right--there is something dangerous in conservative Christian parenting teachings. This is a book with a lot of grace. Even though it was hard to read, I felt encouraged in the end. I'm so grateful for the chance to have read this book, and I'm eager to share it with many of my Christian parent friends.
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
21 October, 2025
(no review title)
The Myth of Good Christian Parenting presents a needed perspective in a sea of "biblical" and authoritarian parenting resources that guide caregivers to detach from their intuition, treat children as subhuman, and promise prosperity. If you were parented with or surrounded by this popular teaching, you will be presented with its history, the harm it caused, and with the freedom to practice care for children that is rooted in their humanity and goodness.
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
21 October, 2025
Authoritarians pretend to know about parenting
I don't think we understand a topic until we learn the history, and this book is an invaluable look at "Christian parenting" books of the last 50 years, most all of which have been abysmally bad at best, abusive at worst. Abusive to the whole family, as the authors touch on the guilt and load laid on the parents as well as the unrealistic and unloving expectations on the children, most especially babies and toddlers. I was fortunate to escape the worst of things, being a "good" kid with reasonable and loving parents, and then being an attachment mom with my kids. All 8 turned out to be loving, responsible adults, so I know that gentle firmness works. But this is a work of history and analysis, not another parenting ,manual. Especially helpful is the chapter on sin and atonement, which I already have been rethinking with the help of other historical Christian views besides the one I was raised with.
5 out of 5 stars
Thumbs up graphic, would recommend
15 October, 2025
Great book for christian parents or anyone recovering from christian parenting
This book is truly invaluable for anyone raised in evangelicalism or who is currently raising kids in evangelicalism. Exposing the myths that Christian parents believe is no small task. It’s clear that so much research went into this book. As someone raised by the parenting methods written about in this book, I can say it is truly helpful to know why your parents may have treated you a certain way that did harm. This book explains so much of the “why?” of my childhood.