Off Ramp - by Spencer Cox (Hardcover)

Book Synopsis

Utah Governor Spencer Cox's practical guide to depolarization teaches us how to disagree better at the dinner table, on social media, and in American politics

In September 2025, following the assassination of Charlie Kirk, Governor Spencer Cox stood at a podium and addressed a fractured and grieving nation.

He urged Americans to find a way to stop hating one another, or--at the very least, he said--to stop shooting each other. His words were balm to a nation desperate for an off ramp from rising political violence.

But a single speech cannot transform a country. It takes all of us working together. It takes a blueprint for healing, depolarization, and peacemaking.

Off Ramp is that blueprint.

In this practical and patriotic guide, Governor Cox pulls from his experience at the highest levels of civic leadership and cutting-edge depolarization research to encourage Americans to disagree better and restore the respect that we once had even for our political rivals. As America approaches the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, it's time to remember what makes America strong, and leave behind the behaviors and rhetoric that threaten to destroy us.

Review Quotes

"Charlie Kirk's assassination was devastating, heartbreaking. I knew Charlie from the White House. He was a kind and decent young man. America required an unequivocal condemnation of this wicked act as well as an urgent call for national unity. Governor Spencer Cox stepped forward on behalf of our traumatized state of Utah and in a quiet, humble voice rose to the occasion. This book contains Cox's gripping, behind the scenes account of that moment." -Ambassador Robert C. O'Brien (ret.), 27th U.S. National Security Advisor

"Spencer Cox has written the rarest kind of political book: one that is humble, funny, and quietly brave. Off Ramp is not a plea for kumbaya -- it is, as Cox himself puts it, an attempt 'to get people to stop shooting each other, ' grounded in hard-won stories that run from the state house to the aftermath of an assassination. It offers the one thing our politics most lacks -- a practical path from contempt to character -- and deserves to be read and then passed to the person you've been arguing with." -Brad Wilcox, Distinguished University Professor of Sociology, University of Virginia

"Governor Spencer Cox of Utah has written one of the most important books of the year. In Off Ramp, he offers a thoughtful, heartfelt, funny, and clear-eyed assessment of how our nation has reached this current state of alienation and division -- and how we might begin to find our way out.

We live in an age with too many celebrities and not enough heroes, too much uncivilized behavior and not enough grace, too much cowardice and not enough courage. To process the relentless drumbeat of absurdities and atrocities in each day's news cycle is both impossible and exhausting. Most people believe that we're too politically divided to solve the problems of our nation. When I speak on college campuses around the country or talk with people at my local hardware store, I hear the same questions: Can our country get through this? What's the plan? And the question I hear more than any other - Is there hope?

I'm worried because our society is highly combustible these days, and the kindling has never been drier. But I do have hope, mostly due to elected officials like Governor Cox who are determined to help our country see that what unites us is far more important and more durable than what divides us and to lead us to a better place.

If politics today too often seems like a pugilistic, gladiatorial, and soulless parade of vanity and ambition awash in anger, alienation, and frustration, Governor Cox clearly describes the antidote -- empathy, optimism, mutual respect and hope. As he notes, our country is looking for "architects, not arsonists."

The Governor has lived his values. He is a loyal Republican who has been unafraid to criticize President Trump or to be a gracious host to President Biden when he visited Utah -- and encouraged him to pardon President Trump in the name of national unity. In 2020, he convinced his opponent in the race for Governor that they should make a television ad together to show the importance of courtesy and sportsmanship in politics. He was told by many people that such an ad was a terrible idea - instead, it was wildly popular and embraced around the world far beyond the borders of Utah.

188 years ago in 1838, Abraham Lincoln warned that the greatest threat to our experiment in democracy was not foreign aggression, but corrosion from within. Lincoln said, "All the armies of Europe, Asia, and Africa combined with all the treasures of the earth in their military chest, could not by force take a drink from the Ohio River or make a track over the Blue Ridge Mountains. If destruction is to be our fate, we ourselves will be its author."

President Lincoln knew that this experiment we call democracy is not ours by divine right -- it must be nurtured and protected. Governor Cox knows this as well. He ends the book with 11 principles which can begin to reverse the tribalism and division which have been plaguing us. (My favorite - "Lead with Curiosity, Not Contempt.")

Governor Cox knows we need to repudiate cynicism, and to refuse to scorch our opponents with language that makes compromise impossible. We need to replace suspicion and contempt with trust and empathy. And we need to acknowledge that the person with whom we disagree might sometimes be right.

Governor Cox also understands that America is not a finished work, nor is it a failed project. America is an ongoing experiment for which all of us bear responsibility. And he also knows that despite our polarization, our mistakes and our shortcomings, the United States is still the most creative, compassionate, innovative, productive and forward-looking country in the world. It's why immigrants still want to come here. It's what makes us unlike any other nation.

If you think you can't be inspired by a book about politics and the state of our democracy - think again. I felt more hopeful after reading Governor Cox's book than I have in some time." -General Jim Mattis, US Marine Corps (retired)

"Off Ramp is a refreshingly honest, deeply personal call to reject contempt and rediscover hope in American civic life. Governor Cox's wisdom, humility, and practical advice make this book a great read for anyone who believes our nation's best days are still ahead." -Jamie Dimon, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of JP Morgan Chase

"Governor Cox's thoughtful and engaging new book captures his work as a social capitalist and a unifier. It offers a clear pathway away from today's polarized politics and toward the tolerant, civil future we deserve." -Robert Putnam, Peter and Isabel Malkin Professor of Public Policy, Harvard University John F. Kennedy School of Government, winner of the National Humanities Medal, and bestselling author of Bowling Alone

"In Off Ramp, my friend Spencer Cox meets this age of contempt with the wisdom and deep conviction required to help our society thrive once again. He masterfully explains that it is not disagreement itself that divides us, but the loss of embracing healthy conflict as an 'iron sharpening iron' process--a principle that has fueled the greatness of the American experiment for 250 years. Spencer's leadership has challenged me to lead with the strength of my own convictions while maintaining a profound respect for the life experiences of others. This book is the essential practical guide for anyone looking to lead others, whether it's their own family, community or government, with both the curiosity to listen and the courage to be a peacemaker." -Kevin Stitt, 28th Governor of Oklahoma

"Spencer Cox is one of the most thoughtful public servants of his generation. While others inflame division, Governor Cox has chosen a better path. In the wake of the tragic assassination of Charlie Kirk, he helped steady a shaken nation with calm resolve and moral clarity, reminding Americans to reject hatred and strive for a higher calling. Off Ramp is a timely and important call to live our values more faithfully, disagree without contempt, and lead with character. I commend this book to all who believe our nation's strength lies not merely in our great achievements, but in returning our public life to the habits of civility and kindness that reflect the true character of the American people." --Mike Pence, 48th Vice President of the United States

About the Author

Spencer Cox is a husband, father, farmer, business leader, recovering attorney, and Utah's 18th governor. His career in public service -- from city council member and mayor to county commissioner, state legislator, lieutenant governor, and now governor -- has been shaped by a dedication to depolarization and a commitment to peacemaking. As chair of the National Governors Association from 2023 to 2024, he launched the bipartisan "Disagree Better" initiative, a national effort to model healthier civic engagement.